Charlie Sheen: The Last Hellraiser?

Is the ‘traditional’ rock-star (not ‘star’ through being  famous because of playing rock music) an extinct species? When the public believe Pete Doherty to be the embodiment of the ‘rock star’, or for that matter, not a douchebag, I begin to lament the death of the true hellraiser. Doherty is more of a ‘poor soul’ that people pity, yes he plays music, that doesn’t make him a rock star by any metric. Charlie Sheen’s recent outbursts and rants (something close to my heart) and the public’s silent (and thereby, in my opinion, condoning) response has been one of the few awesome moments in recent times – where the do-gooder have been trumped by, for once, a consistent set of supporters. Who could watch Charlie Harper in Two and A Half Men, admire and envy his lifestyle and then, at the disclosure of his debaucherous antics, cry foul and label his actions ‘immoral’.

Anyone who is familiar with the antics of Oliver Reed is well aware that Sheen’s outrageous behaviour is really not that ridiculous at all – after all, what are we talking about here? Sheen went on the radio and spewed vitriol at his former friend and writer (not to mention employer) Chuck Lorre – the man behind the show that has been keeping Charlie in employment for the last 8 years. Reed, a proper philanderer and legend, disgraced himself publicly numerous times – these incidents are worthy of note and should be compulsory viewing – remember this is a celebrity:

Anyone who has seen pictures of Jimmy Page:

What happened to the 'Rock Star'?

knows or at least imagines the kind of wild, drunken parties Led Zeppelin had while on tour (including the ‘Shark Incident’) Afterall, what, exactly, is wrong with Charlie Sheen’s conduct here? His influence on young people? Any asshole that invokes this pathetic defence must be really naive – after all, do these same people censor The Simpsons or South Park? how about Eminem? Probably not. The ones that do are bone fide douchebags anyways, and don’t really merit mention.

In one fo his recent rants, Sheen claims that on one of his recent ‘epic runs’ he made ‘Jagger, Richards and Flynn’ look like ‘droopy-eyed, armless children’ – that is some claim!. Who is worthy of honourable mention? Slash, Hendrix, Jerry Garcia and Richard Harris are but a few. In the interview, he is amateurishly cross-examined by a mediocre media personality on ABC news. She asks him how long it has been since he last ‘used’. Obviously referring to cocaine, this viewer couldn’t help but think if we would ask an average person on the street when they last ‘ used’ alcohol. Does anyone ever claim the ‘used’ alcohol the previous night? I think not. A binge does not make someone an alcoholic – what constitutes a ‘drug problem’ if, like Sheen, you are extraordinarily wealthy and have the constitution to withstand large doses of various chemicals? It’s not like he is some homeless criminal – who is he really hurting? Throwing extravagant champagne receptions and getting drunk every night seems to be excused by society because, for whatever reason, alcohol is a more ‘tasteful’ drug. Keith Richards somehow survived 20 years of heroin addiction – how is this possible? Because he was wealthy and never had to imbibe low-grade cutting agents in his heroin. Ozzy Osbourne’s substance abuse has taken its toll on his body, for sure, but one can’t help but think that Ozzy took, as Hunter S. Thompson’s attorney told him: ‘too much, too much’. These ‘good old days’ were the times when the best music being created in a drug-indiced haze. Oftentimes, politicians coyly admit to have indulged some form of drug-use or another, or boast about drinking exploits during their heyday – but it’s always a conspicuously vague time-frame.

Sex, drugs and rock n’ roll is the oft-quoted recipe/itinerary for the ‘hero’. It would be frivilous to deny that, on trying to imagine what John Belushi,  Don Simpson or Hunter S. Thompson did, saw or experienced at the pinnacle of their substance abuse and partying, elicits some kind of curiosity. Charlie Sheen is the only celebrity I can think of who is unapologetic and totally lucid about his experiences. People like Ozzy Osbourne and Keith Richards have been struck down by their over-indulgence, whereas Sheen (at the moment) seems to be in perfect health. It is important to remember, that although we don’t have all the facts (it may have been carefully crafted as a publicity stunt from the beginning), it appears that Sheen’s partying has become legendary not due to self-promotion, but by disclosure by outside agents. Unfortunately, it is now becoming a pantomime – with Sheen campily overdoing his ‘tiger blood’ charade – at the beginning it was genuine, raw anger which was amusing and refreshing.

To see a celebrity come out and say things directly without a the sanitizing influence of a P.R. agent or ‘spokesperson’ in press conferences is unbelievably rare. Usually, the ‘Tiger Woods approach’ is taken, where each word is carefully considered and vetted before its release – the aggregate result is invariably the same  boring, vague and uninformative. I don’t want to know about your mental problems, Tiger,I don’t believe you have one; in today’s society, polygamy is a disgraceful transgression. I want to know what positions/breast sizes/locations involved in these incidents that Woods is so superficially sorry for. How could rehab work for sex addiction? some kind of Pavlovian electroshock therapy a la Clapton’s treatment to come off heroin? Charlie Sheen’s attack of A.A. and the whole idea of ‘using’ and counting ‘days’ and compulsory feelings of shame, remorse and embarassment – where it is absolutely unwarranted – is heartwarming. Who but a ‘sufferer’ could make these claims – calls from the ‘sober’ sideline are treated as a rude trampling of sensibilities, or worse, an effort to sabotage the attempt by someone to make their lives (and of family members etc.) better.

At the end of the day, no one believes that Woods is really sorry for what he did. What’s so bad about sleeping around with a bunch of hookers/strippers? Well, he has a family to consider, I suppose, but then again, a ridiculous number of common, garden-variety marriages involve infidelity, imagine how inevitable it must have been for Tiger Woods. Notwithstanding the fact that he has a family to think of, Woods was caught with his pants down, he knew waht he was doing and I don’t think anyone buys the ‘I had a problem, but now its fixed’. Unlike Woods, Charlie Sheen is not, and has never been a ‘children’s inspiration’ – the majority of his new ‘followers’ come from watching a show about an incredibly toned-down version of Sheen’s own life. Somehow, Sheen has kept Denise Richards and Brooke Mueller at his side (Mueller joined him on a private jet with 2 porn stars at the beginning of the so-called ‘meltdown’) So I don’t feel there is a any kind of ‘betrayal’ going on.

Long live the rock-star.